If you’ve yet to add anal to the sexual menu but are curious to taste test it, there are some things you should know first:
Some people prefer anal orgasms and anal stimulation to genital-induced orgasms and genital stimulation, she says. “So anal is absolutely worth giving a try.”
1. Try anal training. Again, aIf you’re worried about tearing or pain, you can work your way up to full-blown anal by starting with a butt plug, anal beads, or fingers. “If you’re comfortable with any of these things in your anus for about 15 to 20 minutes, there’s a good chance you’re at a point where you can successfully insert a penis [or a dildo],” explains Shawntres Parks, a licensed ily therapist in San Diego. The biggest challenge, she says, is getting the sphincter to relax enough for something to penetrate it. Don’t stress, it’s not unusual for it to take a few tries. But, when you feel your sphincter relax whether it’s a toy, finger, or penis coming through, you’ll know you’re ready.
It’s not just your bodies you should clean post-butt sex
2. Lube, lube, lube. To make things way more comfortable, remember that lube (and lots of it) is your best friend. The anus is not self-lubricating, so it’ll need a little extra help to make the experience smoother. Parks recommends water-based lubes since anything petroleum- or oil-based will break down the materials in your condom (if you’re wearing one) or a silicon strap-on.
3. Prep the pipes. Anal douching is always available to you, but your best bet is just pooping before the act. If you’re having trouble, Parks says to try an herbal supplement or tea such as Smooth Move that goes easy on the stomach. “If you try it the night before, by the time you wake up in the morning you’ll probably have a bowel movement” and again later that night, says Parks.
4. Talk it out. Be sure to communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling when it comes to anal. If something doesn’t feel right: Stop! Even after the act, Parks says the conversations should continue. Check in afterward and ask your partner what they thought of the experience, how it made them feel, and what they might like to do differently next time.
5. Cleanliness is key. If you’re planning to transition from anal to vaginal sex, be sure to thoroughly clean yourself in between, especially if you’re not using a condom you can change, says Parks. “There’s a big increased risk of STIs when you’re transitioning from anal sex to vaginal sex because of the transfer of fecal bacteria into the vagina.” When shopping for body-friendly wipes, Parks says to “look for things that don’t have harsh chemicals” and try them out for a few days. If you find you’re able to use them on a day-to-day basis without irritation, then they’re probably a good bet for a post-anal wipedown.
6. Hop in the shower. In addition to wiping yourself down, you and your partner should take a post-coital shower to clear yourselves of any bacteria. Taking a break to deal with practical stuff, like preventing STIs, can present a challenge when you’re trying to build up arousal for a round two of vaginal or oral sex, says Parks. She recommends showering with your partner to keep the sexy time going during the transition. It’ll get you both clean and
7. Clean the place up. Make sure you immediately get rid of condoms and throw any towels or sheets that may have gotten a bit messy in the laundry. You don’t have to go overboard with buckets of bleach or anything, says Parks. Just be sure to pay special attention to anything that might have fecal bacteria on it and get it in the trash or washer ASAP. Otherwise, “general practices for keeping your space clean are enough,” she says.